HE AND SHE
This is an actual case which took place in UNSW (University of New South Wales), Sydney.
In the English literature class, the professor said, “Today we are going to experiment with a new form of writing called tandem story. You will each be given a secret partner in which you will only know their email address and nothing more. One of you will start of with a paragraph of a story. Your partner will then add another paragraph to it, and then you will add another paragraph to that…and so on. Their will be NO talking or communicating in any way. Everything that wants to be said must be written in the story. The story ends when both of you agree to a conclusion. This is a test to ascertain your passion and flair for writing.”
The following was actually turned in by two students: Rebecca-last name deleted and Gary-last name deleted.
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(1st paragraph by Rebecca)
At first, Laurie could not decide which one she wanted. She loved chamomile tea, but it reminded her too much of Carl, who in happier times, also adored chamomile. Now, at all cost, she has to keep her mind off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating. So strong was his influence on her life that if she thinks about him, her asthma starts acting up again. So chamomile was out of the question.
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(2nd paragraph by Gary)
Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the Earth attack squadron, was orbiting the perimeters of Skylon 4, having more important things to think about than the neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic blond named Laurie whom he had spent one wild night with a year ago. “A.S Harris to Geostation 17-HJ”, boomed the voice from the transgalactic communicator. “Optic satellites deployed, no sign of resistance so far…” But no sooner had he heard that, a blue beam appeared out of nowhere and blasted a hole through the ship’s cargo bay. The jolt sent him flying from his seat.
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(Rebecca)
He hit his head on the ship’s dining table and died almost immediately, but not before feeling one last pang of regret for physically and emotionally brutalizing the one woman who ever had feelings for him. Soon after, Earth stopped its pointless feud with the peaceful farmers of Skylon 4. All that happened was in the past and everything has been forgiven and forgotten. “Intergalactic Treaty and Space Travel ban by the Government” read the morning papers in Laurie’s hand. It bored her. She looked out the window, and began to think about her youth, when there were no newspapers, or television to distract her from her sense of innocent wonder of the beautiful things around her. “Must one lose one’s innocence to become a woman?” she pondered wistfully.
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(Gary)
Little did she know, she had only 10 seconds to live. The dim-witted peaceniks who pushed for the treaty has left Earth defenseless against hostile alien creatures bent on destroying the humans at all cost. Thousands of miles in the sky, the Anu’drian mothership launched its first batch of Lithium-Thurjin missiles on Earth, killing poor, stupid Laurie and millions of others. An emergency conference of the higher powers were called. “We cannot allow this! We shall veto the treaty, and fight back!” said the red-faced president as his fist came slamming down onto the conference table.
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(Rebecca)
I refuse to continue this mockery of literature. My partner is a violent, chauvinistic, semi-literate brat.
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(Gary)
Really? Well, you’re a self-centered, tedious neurotic whose attempts at writing are the literary equivalent of iguanas. Oh, I love tea, I’m asthmatic. I’m a lonely air-headed bimbo whose life is as interesting as toilet paper.
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(Rebecca)
Why did you waste your time taking this class? You should be off with the Star Wars exhibition group traveling the country, dressed as a bug-eyed creature to entertain young kids and boring nerds such as yourself.
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(Gary)
Ugly bitch!
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(Rebecca)
Stupid moron!
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(Teacher)
Very amusing. “A” for passion and flair
Man, that was good....
ReplyDeleteHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA ::jatuh dari kerusi::
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