Tuesday, June 15, 2010


GAYS! It’s totally Fab!

Remember when “Gay” used to mean “happy”? Or when “fag” used to mean “to smoke”?. In those days people wouldn’t bat an eye at Christmas carols like

Deck The Hall
…'Tis the season to be jolly
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la
Don we now our gay apparel
Fa-la-la, la-la-la, la-la-la….

Come be merry while you play,
Let us make our Christmas gay!...

Have yourself a Merry little Christmas
…Have yourself a merry little Christmas,
Let your heart be light
From now on,
our troubles will be out of sight
Have yourself a merry little Christmas,
Make the Yule-tide gay…

So what is “gay”? To me there are two definitions, apart from “happy”.
1.Gay (adjective) = a homosexual
2.Gay (noun) = a lifestyle

I used to think being gay just meant having a different sexual preference and I have no problems with that. Alexander the Great was baddass, and he was gay.  But as any gay person NOW can tell you, being gay is more than a sexual preference.

They have their own dress code, their own music, their own colour ( yes, the colour of the RAINBOW…wasn’t that previously claimed by hippies?) even their own disease, which was AIDS…till it decided to be a bi-disease and started infecting straight people too. And the gaydar?? What? An in-built human mechanism able to detect whether a person likes it up the arse. Some say the ability is borne from highly mutated gay germs in the body which measure the amount of gaydiation emitted from someone else. Extracting the information from a typical gay germ subjected to both a straight guy and a gay guy, we get this:

As you can see, the straight human body emits nearly no gaydiation, as opposed to the gay human body.
But back on topic, what the fuck is with the gay “lifestyle”? Ever seen a few gays prattling on about handbags? Men do not carry handbags. How does the genes that stimulate you sexually also stimulate a liking for handbags? They are mutually exclusive. Actually, I’ll go as far to say that they are direct opposites.

 I’ve got more to say, but I’ll just express it in this drawing.
Figure 1:  Gays as they were before

Figure 2: Gays as they are now

There are still a few gays that do not ooze gayness from every pore and orifice, but their numbers are dwindling. Straight men are finding it increasingly difficult to be normal buddies with gay men when there is such a huge gap of interests, attitudes, and attributes….ok actually, that’s just a nicer way of saying we cannot be friends because we can’t insult you like we do for straight people.

Think about it, abusing a buddy verbally is a male bonding activity, and common vulgar words used by men are ineffective against gays.
“You suck!”
“suck my dick!”
“stick it up your ass!”

Trying to insult a gay man with these words is like kicking a necrophiliac ala THIS IS SPARTAAAAAA style into a pit full of corpses; you have the right idea but it doesn’t really work…
If you insist on calling them these names they might mistake you for a rainbow rider as well, and might wanna get their bromance on with a fellow bum chum .                

Lastly, I found out that NASA is developing a certain “gay ray” to turn straight people into gays! Oh sure, they can give it a relatively harmless name like “infrared detector” but I know better. Look at these pictures.

These are two photos of the same person, but as you can see after being subjected to the infrared detector, his skin turned an eerie rainbowish glow, and his overall appearance becomes immensely gayer than before. You think alien anal probes are methods of research” as claimed by scientists? It’s just a cover up. NASA wants to annihilate all alien life forms by turning them gay so that they can’t reproduce. Now the horny aliens are having their revenge by butt raping innocent farmers and cattle.


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