The Olympics are Fake!

The Olympics are Fake!!

The hot news which caused an uproar in the Beijing Olympics is that Lin, the 9 year old who came on stage and sang the “Hymm to the Motherland song” did not actually sing it. Instead, Yang PeiYi’ s voice was used. She was deemed not cute enough by the Chinese officials, so they opted to use another face but keep her voice.

Now people are saying how wrong that is. How scandalous! The Audacity! Big whoop I say.

Excerpt from an internet article “They told the poor little girl that her face was too chubby and that she had crooked teeth and that she was not cute enough to sing in front of the billions of people watching. That’s horrible! I can’t believe that they did that. The poor girl must’ve been so crushed and upset. And I can’t even imagine what her parent’s must’ve felt. Probably furious that they said these things to their daughter, sad and upset because their daughter would not get the publicity she deserved for such a voice. Instead, another little girl would be the one showing up on all the newspapers as a rising star and a beautiful singer. Yang must have cried her eyes out after hearing the officials tell her she was too ugly to show on stage and that she would be missing her big chance to be seen by so many people and honored for her voice.”

That’s a load of presumptuous crap. No one literally “told” her she was chubby or anything. She probably does not even really care. If she did, attribute that to the self-righteous jerks in the media.  And everything else isn’t true either. PeiYi said herself she felt “privileged to have her voice used” and her parents “thrilled to have her take part”-Fairfax.

So who are we to judge? Let’s face it, Chinese people know how to bargain. Chinese POLITICIANS therefore, can bargain you into giving up a testicle, or to not appear on the Olympic stage. Either or. PeiYi was probably told that she was so good that she ought to give another girl a chance to share her fame, and her parents probably would’ve been offered a hefty compensation. Lin gets to go on stage, and Lin’s family also gets a generous “donation”. Win-win-win-win.  

Another excerpt “If that was my daughter I would tell them to withdraw my daughter’s singing altogether and she will never perform for them again. Period!”

Period indeed...As in stop spraying your menstruate sludge on everyone to compensate for your hairy arms. Great move mum, now your daughter will hate you forever and grow up longing for that ‘what if’ shot at fame which you so selfishly snatched from her.

All this hype about the girl and also the digitally modified fireworks display, well guess what? The flying women during the ceremony were not actually flying (no way!) and the whales at the top of the stadium were totally simulated (that can’t be!) and the waterfall was merely fake imagery (please, no more!) As a matter of fact, Yoda’s voice is actually that of an ordinary man named Frank Oz and Neo isn’t The One (Oh noes! Anything but that!) because that title goes to Chuck Norris. And Harvey Dent in the Dark Knight movie who becomes Two-Face and dies at the end is actually an actor with no deformities at all! (if you haven’t seen The Dark Knight, don’t read that last sentence).

Here’s more:

Surprise fools! The Panda is actually voiced by Jack Black! Producers decided to dub over Poe’s voice in the last minute because English was only his second language. His first language is secreting acid-smelling substances onto tree barks and rocks as a means of communicating.

Har har har har….

Ashley Simpson owes her album sales to 3 things. Her sister’s reputation, her publicists and the machine at the recording studio which (greatly)enhances her voice so that it’s (barely)passable.

Here’s the deal, it’s just a gimmick, like any other David Copperfield show you attend. My only complaint is that the officials could have handled it better. Lin did not even know that the voice she heard on the loud speakers were not her own, and therefore took credit for it in media interviews. If only the Chinese officials announced the face-voice partnership either beforehand or after, then maybe the world would have been less critical. But trying to hide the whole thing only made things worse.

But the worse thing is, some people have to now go and tie this to politics, saying that this whole ordeal only “gave an extraordinary insight into the control exercised over the ceremony by the Games' political overseers “ and is trying to use this issue as a key to unlock more media freedom in the Olympics. These people deserve a Falcon Punch to the nuts.

See, if they succeed, and China loosens its grip, the 21-point plan issued to the local Chinese media will crumble, thus allowing the western version of the singing scandal to be put in print in local news. With the so called “truth” of why PeiYi was dropped in favour of Lin being freely published, and with brutal blood-sucking journalists firing inconsiderate questions at the family, they would totally be more affected and traumatised.

So more media freedom hurts more than heals now doesn’t it, fools? And it’s not that these scrotum lickers don’t know that. They don’t actually care for PeiYi, they are just very close minded in pursuing their pompous ideals in trying to saving the world, by having everyone conform to their values. Wads full of cash don’t hurt either I bet.